Welcome to Uganda, where there are no street lights!

Eden is wrestling a bug. She has probably killed 30 since we have been here. Every time she kills one I say to myself okay only 30,000 to go Ede. She has a real issue with bugs and just found one on her bed, lept off, started itching like crazy and shook her blanket off vigorously before assuming her starting position. Then yelled at the dead bug, "I HOPE YOU SUFFOCATE!"

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Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda. Here I am at Camp Granada…

Did I say “Oh boy” in Brussels? Because if Brussels was an “Oh boy” then my friends Kampala Uganda is a “My hell!””

Eden and I are currently sitting in our respective beds—surrounded by our bed nets of course—at the Adonai guest house in Kampala. Mackie, who is the intern that has been here since January and leaves on April 1st, is still fast asleep in the other corner of the room. You may be curious as to how the flight was (which one?) and perhaps how we are adjusting to the time difference (we aren’t). But those questions, while valid, are like nursery rhymes compared to a Jane Eyre novel. I’ll tell you the things you really should want to know.

Uganda is about 95% humidity, which means you in essence feel like the air is giving you one of those hugs you receive from your Grandmother or perhaps a long lost friend. You know, like the ones where you are in an eternal embrace and you seem to be catching up right then and there—10 years worth of living being exported into your ears while you remain in each other’s arms while you think “Will I ever breathe normally again or have my lungs rightfully thought to collapse”. I think I’m getting beside the point. It’s really humid. Instant Jergen’s ultra healing lotion on your whole body 24/7 type humid. It’s going to do wonders for my skin.

Sleeping last night was like a series of tossing and turning mixed with the endless struggle with my bed net while simultaneously ripping layers of clothing off of my body in hopes that I would stop sweating. Note to self: when in Uganda, less is more. Much, much less. Wink, wink. But fortunately for Eden and myself our restful 4 hours of sleep was abruptly ended when the rooster outside the window decided that now (7:30 a.m.) would be an excellent time to begin the day. Thank you rooster. And a big shout out to dog fight which ensued around the same time that the motorcycle (or piki piki as we have learned) thought to rev up. It was like complete chaos. But not more chaotic than our experience from the time the airplane landed till now.

Oh Mackie just woke up. Turns out she think she had too many drinks last night before they came to get us, or maybe it was the horrific African disco dance club outside their last hotel... Whatever it was, she seems worse for the wear & is mumbling. But not mumbling soft enough for us to pick out the words “You will gain weight while you are here”. Grrrreat, good morning Mackie.

We just got back from a day of shopping on Uganda Boulevard or maybe it was Ruganda Road. I am shocked. Really, I cannot describe to you the awe I am in. We are so blessed, like I may have a thing for the trash guy back home. Uganda has nothing of the sort. People just throw out their garbage on the street, so there is filth everywhere. It is so sad. Not to mention the rabid dog gang. I’ve concluded the dog gangs here are the equivalent to the gangs in Compton. They move in packs, have fights at all hours, and are freaking scary. As we were driving through the city Eden looks over and points to one of the aforementioned dog gangs and asks Mackie, “Is this the homeless dog crew?” and Mackie just gives a solemn 5-word reply, “Eden, they are probably dead”. And just like that Eden turns forward and is silent. Quite possibly one of the first times that has happened this trip…

As it turns out, Uganda isn’t that scary. Poor yes, but there is a shocking number of white people that live here. I really have felt more frightened in West Valley than I have here. The only thing that Uganda has got West Valley beat on terror-wise, is the driving. THERE ARE NO RULES. You want to go 75 down a packed street? Go ahead. Car in front of you going too slow? Just pass. Speed bumps not working for you? Jump ‘em. Its complete chaos. I can count on one hand the number of traffic lights I’ve seen and have been obeyed. They also love round-a-bouts. I don’t know what it is, but you’ll be flying down a road (with optional seatbelts because by law only the driver needs his on) and suddenly you’ll be thrown into a spinning swirling vortex of terror (going backwards nonetheless because Uganda was colonized by the Brits who are confused about which side of the road to drive on). Eden flips about every 10 minutes and yells, “I still cannot handle being on the wrong side of the road!”. Get used to it Ede, we will probably be taking turns driving back to Kaberamaido. Yay.

We are staying in the quaintest guesthouse on the outskirts of town. I love everything about it. I love the wrap around porch, the people visiting from England across the hall, and the little man who lives in a hut by the gate and opens it when you honk in a certain pattern. It just all works.

Now a little more about Mackie: She is from Salt Lake and is the most amazing person we could have ever been paired with. I hate to get mushy so early on, but I can’t help but acknowledge the divine intervention that has happened. We were all sitting in our rooms talking and we shared all of the incredible things that happened to all of us in order to get us here. It is sincerely a miracle that we all ended up here. Anyways Mackie is awesome. She is very passionate about the works she is doing here. She is the strongest person. Very determined, straightforward, and genuine. Between her and Jane we have the most protective and productive team-thing going on. Jane is a sweetheart. She is the director of the orphanage and is native to Kaberamaido (we think). She has a gaggle of kids all ages that are raised by a nanny while she runs the orphanage. Could you imagine? Her youngest is 2 years old and she gets to see them maybe like twice a month. Ahhh it’s heartbreaking is what it is.

When we first got off the plane in Entebbe, we walked through the doors in the lobby and looked around for someone with a sign that had our names on it, but couldn’t find a single thing. So after some awkward moments and searching we found a pink paper propped up in the window of the door that said EDEN & KYLIE. So we pummel over to it (because you can’t do anything gracefully or discretely with that much luggage) and the guard standing by the door is like, “You Eden & Kylee?” And I’m thinking, “Are you Jane? Because no one said anything about me being escorted to the village by a chick with a machine gun..” Actually Jane had to run an errand, so here Ede and I sit with our entire luggage, frightened to death, phones not working at midnight in a foreign country. I could have died I was so scared. We just sat there wondering and waiting. One o’clock rolls around and like a wedding party conga-ing off of the dance floor, in walks Mackie, Jane, Martin, and Tony. Martin and Tony are hysterical. They, like the others, had definitely been kickin’ back on grandpa’s old cough medicine. So with liquor on their breath and relief on our faces, we piled into a van and made our way back to Kampala. The car ride was absolute pandemonium. Tony was complaining about how there are no streetlights in Uganda because of the President while Martin was singing native love songs out the window. We love them. I wish they lived in Kaberamaido so we could hang out everyday.

Speaking of the President, he was inaugurated 2 days ago (which is technically an understatement, since he has reigned for over 25 years now) and has a house nearly identical to the white house on Wasatch. He owns the whole hill that it is located on & has 6 helicopters… All while there are no streetlights in Uganda. Tony made sure we understood that having no streetlights was a big deal. And today, the whole downtown is shut down because they are electing a mayor and there are riots. Dangerous riots.

Mom, thanks for teaching me how to bargain. I’m excellent which makes getting African dresses to wear on the compound great fun. At all the markets the ladies would say to me and Eden, “Halllllooo! You’re welcome sisters!” I think we came out of every deal on the better end though. Between the two of us we got like 5 dresses, a hat, a bag, and sandals. I love the shilling. They are my new best friends. We did the math and everything is half price because the dollar is so strong here.

Cindy, my girl. Eden and I are sorry, but we have broken nearly every rule you gave us. Steaming food is just a little hard to come by. And the pineapple looks great. So we are sorry, but we will try really hard not to wrestle with the rabid dogs..